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Thergothon: Stream from the heavens

07/01/10 || Khlysty

OK, ladies, come closer now, ‘cause I got secrets to disperse to youse ugly mugs. Thergothon is, like, the total originators of what’s commonly known today as “funer(e)al doom”. Yep, these crazy-ass Finns almost single-handedly created this happy-go-lucky subgenre of doom, so if you wanna offer sacrificial cakes or send packet-bombs (depending on whether you like or hate said genre), now you know who’s responsible. Me, I’m too hip to anything like the above, so I’ll just tell you about these really SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW and maudlin guys and their sole official record, so that you’ll know everything about them, hmkay?

“Stream From The Heavens” came out in 1994 and, if what I read in the retardnet is true, it dropped like a cluster-bomb within the metal community. Never before had anyone heard music so slow, so low or so depressing, played with such single-mindedness and devotion. This shit’s so heavy that I really avoid listening to it, ‘cause it gives me nosebleeds, headaches, podagra, lice, the flu, syphilis, smallpox, rheumatism, carpal tunnel and hepatitis. It’s so sick and ugly that one almost questions the sanity of its creators AND of anyone who listens to it intentionally.

Me, besides being totally deaf, I also have the papers to prove that I’m like totally bonkers, so I’m gonna tell you that Thergothon is a really great band and that “Stream From The Heavens” is a near-masterpiece of oppressive music. The six songs contained in this here record sound as if someone recorded funeral marches and, then, replayed them at one fifth of the original speed. The three members of the band (guitar, drums, keys and vocals, NO bass) really test the listener’s patience with tracks ranging from four to nine-plus-change minutes that move incrementally faster than a junked-up slug, with riffs that decay into the oblivion of sustain, with melodies that need investigative action from the listener, so as to uncover them and with vocals that put to shame almost 99,9999999% of the death metal crowd.

Niko Skorpio utilizes a growl that mainly sounds like a sustained deep burp, making the Lovecraft-themed lyrics completely indecipherable. So, good for him for adding a second vocal track, where he sings cleanly and chant-like, so we can get an idea of what he’s ululating about. Now, I know that most people would consider this as the ultimate OTT shit and, basically, it’s true. BUT, the band exploits the codeine-induced dynamics of the compositions to create an atmosphere of cosmically-proportioned despair and terror. The extreme slowness of the songs works towards drowning the listener inside a pool of depression and desperation for the whole length of the record, so be advised and a) either take your antidepressants and plunge head-on in this monster b) or avoid it completely.

What’s more to say? Hmmm, yes, the guitars are a little bit thin for such music, although the organ washes over and covers the need for low-end adequately. The riffs and melodies are not interchangeable, but the mood of the record is completely uniform and would evoke depression even to a colibri with cocaine. Thergothon are the true forefathers of funer(e)al doom, “Stream From The Heavens” is a declaration of intent of titanic proportions, you should buy it and, now, I’m going to go to see my therapist, before killing myself and anyone around me. Or, maybe, why not…?

Information
Released: 1994
Label: Obscure Plasma/Avantgarde
Website: Thergothon MySpace
Band
Niko “Skorpio” Sirkiä: vocals, keyboards
Mikko Ruotsalainen: guitar
Jori Sjöroos: drums, guitar, vocals

Tracklist
01. Everlasting
02. Yet the watchers guard
03. The unknown Kadath in the cold waste
04. Elemental
05. Who rides the astral wings
06. Crying blood & crimson snow

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